2:46am
I'm still Wide awake.
Worrying about my appeal result.
In fact, I shouldn't worry much actually.
No matter I appeal successfully or fail, I still can't get my Ptptn for this long semester.
I'm damned. I'm screwed. I ruined the whole plan.
I'm having nightmare everyday since the final examination period last semester until now.
Worry much and depress easily.
I guess I'm close with major depression.
What put me in dilemma is, I don't know whether should I continue to Pursuit My degree or shouldn't to do so.
Yes, I don't mind to retake the subject, but I really never thought that I would lose my Ptptn.
My Cgpa for the entire degree dropped from 2.7 to 1.9
What the fuck was wrong with me last semester?
I can't afford to study here without Ptptn.
Don't ask me to quit job. my worst result has nothing related to my part time job!
I just don't like to study. I got no motivation to study since Last Semester and what Happen Now Is my motivation Is Totally gone After The Result Released.
I wish to quit studies. But I just can't let go of this now. Mom taught me to be a responsible person. But I can't do this anymore. Everything is just so tiring. I'm stress and depress on everything.
And what you guys do is just giving extra pressure on me and look down on me. I'm the black sheep. I know! I Just can't do this anymore... can I just don't listen to you guys once? I'm Begging you Guys To give Me A chance to live with what I want...
I really afraid that I would choose to end my life just to avoid these shit.
The boom is nearly explode.
