Messed

I shouldn't have anything to worry about.
I messed things, ruined things...
I'm so confuse. I don't even know what I'm typing at this moment.
My fingers are just like typing the words out without getting my permission.

Studies
My study life, it's all a mess.
I'm highly motivated not to attend the class.
I'm lazy. I missed and skipped a lot of classes.
Even my first final paper is held on this Saturday, but I still haven't start my revision yet.
Notes are all in front of me. But I just can't face them.
Every time I look at the notes, I see stress.
My overall coursework mark is low for almost all the subject in this semester.
 I see no hope for the final examination.
I can't deal with it if I fail my paper. I don't want to retake it for the coming semester.

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But whatever it is, I just can't give it up.
Already spent one year time here, I don't want to waste it just like that.
Calm myself, face the fact, back to reality.
Being upset can't solve the problem.
I still have to sit for the exam.
Pass or fail, it's my own responsibility.
I got to be responsible for what I'm dealing with currently.

So....
Carolyn, just be tough k.. =)